I have to believe I’m not the only mom who has ever threatened to take away a Christmas present due to a fit of bad behavior from her children….after all the naughty and nice list probably started with some stressed out mom whose kids had been stuck indoors for days because of rain and snow. I bet she found herself telling her children there was such a thing as this list in hopes the day would be easier and the kids would get along.
Last night when I spoke those words….”That’s it, one more fight and I’m taking Christmas presents back to the store. “(and I’ll make you boys return them!), my words felt bitter coming out of my mouth. I started thinking about how conditional my statement to them was. If you are bad, I won’t bless you, if you are good,,,,, etc.
While I was trying to fall asleep, I was praying and thanking Jesus for coming. Praying that despite my being tired, and Pete being in trial, we would be able to focus on Him this week. Then this thought when through my head as I was replaying our evening and the statement I had made to the boys.
Last night when I spoke those words….”That’s it, one more fight and I’m taking Christmas presents back to the store. “(and I’ll make you boys return them!), my words felt bitter coming out of my mouth. I started thinking about how conditional my statement to them was. If you are bad, I won’t bless you, if you are good,,,,, etc.
“hmmmm, maybe I won’t say that ever again “, I thought to myself.
But God had more of a lesson for me than I realized! Lately, and increasingly, I believe He has been using these happenings with our kids to reveal more of how great and UNCONDITIONAL His love is for me. This is a hard concept for me, because I am so aware of how unworthy I am to receive His love and quite honestly, I think “earning love” has been engrained into my fibers.
But God had more of a lesson for me than I realized! Lately, and increasingly, I believe He has been using these happenings with our kids to reveal more of how great and UNCONDITIONAL His love is for me. This is a hard concept for me, because I am so aware of how unworthy I am to receive His love and quite honestly, I think “earning love” has been engrained into my fibers.
While I was trying to fall asleep, I was praying and thanking Jesus for coming. Praying that despite my being tired, and Pete being in trial, we would be able to focus on Him this week. Then this thought when through my head as I was replaying our evening and the statement I had made to the boys.
You came.
You sent Your son.
The greatest gift You could offer.
To me.
And You knew all along how I would treat Your gift.
You knew how I would treat the gift giver.
You knew I would resist it. You knew I would ignore it. You knew I would reject it.
….. AND You still gave it to me.
If I knew my kids were going to treat their presents badly; ignore them, reject them, put them on a shelf and forget about them, hide them from their friends because they were embarrassed of them, and then beg me to have them back after treating them like that, I know I wouldn’t want to give them gifts.
Yet, that’s what God my Father did for me….Oh thank you Lord that your gift was not conditioned on my good behavior. You not only gave me your greatest gift, but gave me the ability I wouldn’t have had on my own to open it.
That said, I am never threatening to take away a Christmas present again for bad behavior. (I’ll ground them instead :) The naughty and nice list is dead in this house. After all, we don’t give to our children for any other reason than wanting to bless them and show them how we love them as unconditionally as possible.
So here's to hoping and praying that maybe Michael, Allie and Alex will grasp just a little bit more than me, a little sooner than me, the love of my Jesus and His unconditional love for those who are His. After all, if you are on His list, you can't be erased!
So here's to hoping and praying that maybe Michael, Allie and Alex will grasp just a little bit more than me, a little sooner than me, the love of my Jesus and His unconditional love for those who are His. After all, if you are on His list, you can't be erased!
Lesson learned - thank you Lord!
BHG 2009
1 comment:
Breanna, your last commentary about taking gifts back was beautiful. I needed to read that. I find myself thinking "if only my husband was".....God doesn't do that to me, does he? Thanks for the reminder, sweetie. You are smart beyond your years.
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