Happiness

A few weeks ago  I was praying with a friend. I don't remember her exact words, but she prayed that I would know more joy, and that God would give me a light heartedness. I don't know what promted her to pray this specifically (well, the Lord! ) But God has used her prayer and turned it into my own personal prayer request to Him these last few weeks.

 I know the difference between happiness and joy, and I would tell you that there have been many times in my life that admidst the presence of some heavy dark trials or pain God has given me a joy in that darkness, but over the last few weeks of taking this prayer before God I have realized that I need to laugh more. At times my family needs to  live lighter. While Joy is good and we can have it all the time,  happiness is fun and God designed us to FEEl it too!

 Maybe its  a product of years of losing people I love or having gone through the trials/stresses that God has allowed in our life, (maybe it's becuase I'm a driven, organized, type A wife and mom :) ), but somewhere along the way I think I started to live life too heavy hearted. I know I  use to laugh more.

I'm not saying we can laugh away hurt or even that would should, there are times to mourn. Oh but there is a time to dance too!!!!  When God lifts the  storms and dawn's light has broke, we need to enjoy the respit and LAUGH.

Sooooo, the kids and I were messing around this afternoon and we started laughing. It wasn't even becuase anything was all that funny, we just started laughing and it turned into that deep belly, stomach hurting, cheek burning laughing. It was great! And when we calmed down, this was my prayer :

- Oh Thank you God! That was fun! Thank you for this day that life is ok and everyone I love is ok, and I can just laugh. Thank you God.

Allie took this picture.... :) And though it's a little embarassing, I'm posting it anyway, because everytime I see it, I'm going to remember how good today felt!

Growing up!

The day he got his braces on...

talking to Dad right after we got home

2 years, 6 months, 4 days later....

Growing Up!

One Day

One day further away from who I have been.

One day closer to who I'll be.

One day.

This IS the day that the lord has made, I WILL rejoice and be glad in it.

Prayer

A song I wrote today for one who is on my heart...

Hoping for your eyes to open
Hoping for Your mind to clear
Hoping for your hands to reach out, to the One who put you here.

Hoping for Your heart to break
If more is what it’s going to take
Hoping that the road you're on, is named Damascus.

Here I stay waiting
From the deep I am begging
for you to know My Love.

Praying that your cell walls crumble
Praying lovers leave you dry
Praying then your soul will yell out with a desperate cry

Praying for your name to be
The one He calls out before me
Praying we will fall down together, and thank Him for Damascus.

Here I stay waiting
From the deep I am begging
for you to know My Love, Oh my love, for you to know.


BHG 11/2009

Memories of a patriotic mother

I was putting gas into my car this morning and was distracted and drawn to watch this older gentlemen who was exerting much effort to independently put gas into his car next to me. He was quite along in years, had a seasoned face, and hands that looked like they still work hard. He had a flannel shirt tucked in (way to high) to his very neatly pressed slacks and was wearing a hat that said World War II Veteran. It had pins and patches all over it. I made eye contact with him and said, "I want to thank you sir, for serving our country." He proudly and quietly said, "you are welcome young lady." He carefully, slowly got into his Buick and drove off. That was it, and I was teary.

It got me thinking...Why do I choke up at things like that? I always have. I feel so STRONGLY about proudly hanging our American Flag on any day that calls for it to be hung! I am seriously moved to tears when my kids or anyone for that matter recites speeches or writings from the beginning days of our country. I get angry when soldiers aren't respected or honored. I ball like a baby when the Star Spangled Banner is sung at the Olympics. Where does this all come from?

As I was driving home, my mind began wandering back to being a little girl, and I had several fond memories I hadn't remembered in a long time - Memories of my patriotic mommy.

To share a few, these are just a couple of the things I remember very clearly and strongly:

Being at a High School football game at French Field, probably 6 or 7 with my Grandpa Johnny. "Girls, we ALWAYS put our hand on our chest when they play the National Anthem." My mom bent down and I remember her gently putting and holding my hand on my chest for the whole song, the whole song!

Car Trip to the Ocean, age 7 or 8. I remember my mom teaching Jenny and I songs like "This land is your land", "America the beautiful", "The Star Spangled Banner" in the car. I remember singing them during that entire weekend and trying to "teach" Jenny the words even though I didn't understand them myself.

While living in Indiana, age 9. Our Neighbors had an American Flag that had fallen from the pole on the house and it sat on the ground dirty and aging for quite a long time. I remember my mom telling us how angry it made her (very passionately) that they didn't pick it up. I then remember her sitting Jenny and I down at the kitchen table and telling us the rules for the flag. (I think I still remember them all)(in case you want to share or read these with your kids....www.usa-flag-site.org/)

Sitting at my Great Grandparents house for the last time in Puyallup, WA. Age 12. Listening to my Great Grandfather speak so proudly to my mom about my Grandpa's time in the service. Listening to the sheer concern and fear in their voices for a cousin of mine, who at the time was serving in Iraq.

The list goes on, All little memories of my mother speaking or displaying patriotism to me. I'm not sure why it was so deeply rooted in her, but it was. Did it come from her childhood, was it somehow related to my dad's service in the military ?(Quite a lot has surfaced after his death regarding his service in Vietnam and his possilble position as a "tunnel rat".) Regardless of the how or the why, the truth is my mom was SERIOUSLY patriotic and she ingrained a love and pride for this country in me.

So today as we honor the veterans who have served our country, I wanted to thank a few people who have affected my life, and proudly served America. Mike, Oley, and Paul, Thank you for serving and sacrificing. I honor you today!

Thoughts out loud

OK, since this is my blog I am going to take the liberty to be opinionated and rant a bit.
I know that will surprise so many of you:)

I am burdened by the state of the church (in general) today. Grieved, would be an even better word. This has consumed my thinking today.

How is it that we have become so quick to dismiss any truth in the bible that we can't understand or explain about God? That is my question for the day!

I am sick of truth being watered down simply for the reason that we can't fully comprehend or understand it. Even worse, is when we water it down so that we won't offend people. Just because we don't completely "get it", doesn't mean it isn't so and just because it can be hard to swallow, doesn't mean we should leave it on the plate.

Isaiah 45:7 "The One forming light and creating darkness, Causing well-being and creating calamity;I am the LORD who does all these."

Isaiah 45:9 "Woe to the one who quarrels with his Maker--An earthenware vessel among the vessels of earth! Will the clay say to the potter, 'What are you doing?' Or the thing you are making say, 'He has no hands'? "Woe to him who says to a father, 'What are you begetting?'Or to a woman, 'To what are you giving birth?'"Thus says the LORD, the Holy One of Israel, and his Maker: "Ask Me about the things to come concerning My sons, And you shall commit to Me the work of My hands."It is I who made the earth, and created man upon it I stretched out the heavens with My hands And I ordained all their host.

Isaiah 43:10b
"I am He, Before Me there was no God formed, And there will be none after Me."
"I, even I, am the LORD, And there is no Saviour besides Me. "It is I who have declared and saved and proclaimed, And there was no strange god among you; So you are My witnesses," declares the LORD,"And I am God. "Even from eternity I am He, And there is none who can deliver out of My hand; I act and who can reverse it?"

Isaiah 42:8
I am the LORD, that is My name; I will not give My glory to another, Nor My praise to graven images.


Isaiah 48:11
For My own sake, for My own sake, I will act;For how can My name be profaned? And My glory I will not give to another.

So for the fear that I may appear self righteous as I vent my frustration, let me first state: My human mind is constantly limited in my attempts to understand our Creator, and apart from the Spirit of God's calling on my life, I know I wouldn't know Him. That said...

My frustration isn't with those who are lost, but those who claim to be found, and yet deny the power of the One who has saved them!

Our God, who has saved us, says "He creates darkness" and "causes calamity". It is for HIS glory, not ours, so why can't we just rest in that?

If you asked me what is the most important thing in my life, this is it...His GLORY!
I want HIS glory above all. Above my own life, my husbands, my children....No matter what that means! And I am not just saying that, I really mean it. If it means suffering, if it means losing whatever, if it means death, if it means I would praise Him from hell(which I know is not doctrinally correct, but you get my point) I want it if it ultimately will bring my God the most glory! Up until a few years ago, I would have told you I couldn't have made this statement because I wouldn't have truly meant it with all of me. But Praise the Lord He has shown me more of Himself and shown me more of who I am without Him and today, because of His work in my heart, I truly want - His glory above ALL.

I am so saddened that we are so quick to minimize God's sovereignty for the fear of offending people! Who He is can't be defined or explained by what He created. So why is it that when God can't be confined by a big enough box, we try to shrink Him into one?

Jesus did not dress Himself up to gather a bigger crowd. He didn't shy away from speaking the truth because He was afraid people wouldn't like it. Yet Jesus loved people right where they were at. Jesus is the creator and epitomy of love. He knew loving them meant leading them to His truth.

His truth will stand whether we understand it or like it. He is who He is and He will not change or be detoured. He will not compromise, bend or relent from His own will. He will glorify Himself.

There is so much in the Word of God that overwhelms my finite mind, but I never want to be guilty of trying to shrink God into something smaller than He is so that I could feel like I understand Him! I am tired of His truth being watered down.

God is love, He is truth. Wouldn't it be awesome if we the church could get obsessed about love and truth at the same time and with equal passion? It seems any more we focus on one or the other but it is rare to see truth and love flowing at the same time.

God grabbing my boys hearts

My heart was so full this weekend as I got to hear and see the passion God is giving my boys for His truth. Pastor Andrew started a boys discipleship group and invited the boys to come. I was surprised they were so excited about it since the first week required them to be out of bed before seven on a Saturday. :) I have been praying very specifically all summer for God to grab their hearts and for them to hear HIS call on their life, and not just Pete and I's voices. We have been stressing to them all summer the fact that they are now old enough that their relationship with God needs to be just that, THEIRS.

They have come home from camps/youth group excited about what they have learned before, but this was different. Saturday was different. They came home with an individual passion and excitement for how the Word had touched them. It really did just touch them where they were at.

They could not only stop talking about what they had talked about in group, but there was a sweet tenderness, and vulnerability in them all weekend. God's truth sank down deep in them Saturday morning. The discussion was on how when we become aware of our own sin the cross of Christ gets bigger in our life, but when we aren't aware of our sin, we minimize the power of the cross. Alex was so excited to show me the scriptures. Michael kept talking about how He hadn't thought of any of what they talked about before. I am amazed at how God specifically orchestrated this relationship with Pastor Andrew(another posting would be required to tell that story. )

SOOOOOO, praise God with me that His Spirit is grabbing the hearts of my sons!Praise God for how he is using Pastor Andrew's obedience and heart to reach our boys, To God be the Glory! My heart is very full!

Halloween 2009

Halloween was a CRAZY fun day! The day started early with some worship practice, bible study for the boys, senior pictures with Alyssa, then Alex had a soccer game. We left the game to go hang out with the cute cousins and our friends Rachel, Sawyer and Fisher! Oh, they were so cute! Allie wanted to surprise Rachel with a twin Dorothy costume.(I didn't want to spend any money on costumes, so she had to be creative!) Alex was coming from his soccer game, so he was a "soccer player", and Michael was Michael. :O) The boys had fun helping run the fishing booth at the festival at church. After the fun there, we had a yummy chili dinner with friends. THEN, we went to a party Michael's soccer team was having. It was a full, fun day! I think my favorite part was watching Lincoln sporting his mohawk and holding Fisher in his cutie costume! (I wanted to hug him just looking at that cute little hat!) Great day! Yeah for an extra hour of sleep that night!

Soccer! Soccer and More Soccer!

The past few months have been filled with tons of soccer games. I am behind in loading my pictures onto the computer! But, here are a few of Alex. He had so much fun in this game!